


out of my limit

by yjnswrld



Series: out of my limit universe [1]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Childhood Friends, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Slow Burn, loss of contact, mentions of a toxic relationship, okay no u can be a little mad at yeonjun hes an asshole, pls dont be too mad at yeonjun hes just a dumb boy, this fic went totally off the rails im sorry lmao, underage drinking??? i mean theyre all 18 except hyuka who's turning 18 like 6months later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-20
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-24 08:07:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30069201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yjnswrld/pseuds/yjnswrld
Summary: he slowly breathed out and looked taehyun in the eyes. “i know i’m gonna be gone physically but i’ll always be in your heart, yeah? nothing is ever gonna separate us.” he stopped for a second to calm himself down before he started crying again. “and i know that it’s gonna be hard and i’m gonna miss you so much, but hey we’re yeonjun and taehyun, inseparable since my eighth birthday party” taehyun chuckled at that memory of their first meeting, “we’ll find ways to stay in contact, there’s facetime and we can both save up to visit each other. we’ll be okay.”ortaehyun and yeonjun’s friendship through the years as yeonjun goes off to college and they lose contact.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Huening Kai, Choi Beomgyu/Huening Kai/Lee Heeseung, Choi Yeonjun/Kang Taehyun, Choi Yeonjun/Original Female Character(s), Minor Choi Soobin/Ji Changmin | Q - Relationship
Series: out of my limit universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2223003
Kudos: 12





	out of my limit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flwrkyuu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flwrkyuu/gifts).



> this bitch has been in the works for a while now lmao, this idea came to me at work while listening to out of my limit by 5sos.
> 
> thanks to moon for inspiring and motivating me to write this and letting me ramble about my fic like,,,,,, a shit ton. also thanks to jules and lisa for reading the drafts and being encouraging ehehehe
> 
> the only beta reading this underwent is when google docs gave me squiggly lines
> 
> pls let me know what u think in the comments bc it motivates me to write more!!! kudos are also very appreciated. you can also let me know in the comments if more tags need to possibly be added!
> 
> scream at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/bb0unbaby)

It starts off subtle, honestly. Taehyun is just staring at his beautiful hyung and he realises that he never wants to be separated from him. He realises that he had found his home in his hyung, never wanting to leave him behind. They had been through so much together. From spending Yeonjun’s 8th birthday together, to Yeonjun coming out as bisexual and Taehyun in turn also telling him he liked boys, to sneaking out at night to go watch the stars in the park near their houses.

They met when Taehyun was 5 and Yeonjun was just turning 8. They lived on the same street, with Taehyun just having moved in the empty house two houses down from where Yeonjun lived. He was having a birthday party and Yeonjun’s mom had invited his mom and him to come celebrate Yeonjun’s 8th birthday with them.

His mom accepted and got ready to go to the party by dressing up Taehyun cutely. When it was time to go to the house a little further, Taehyun held on to his mom tight. They rang the bell and so rustling could be heard from the other side when suddenly another kid opened the door. The little kid smiled big and half-screamed “Hi! My name is Yeonjun! Are you the new neighbours that mom told me about?” The dark-haired kid started jumping in excitement and called for his mom.

That’s the earliest memory Taehyun has of Yeonjun, a bright and happy boy. Over the years he has several other memories with Yeonjun, like the one where they went to the arcade after school and accidentally stayed until the owner had closed the store. Which also meant, they were home way later than they were supposed to and there were also no busses driving anymore. Taehyun remembers his mom picking them up and calling Mrs. Choi to calm her down because she was rightfully worried about the boys.

Taehyun reminisced over those memories while staring at Yeonjun getting ready for his graduation. The older boy had called over Taehyun so he could help him get ready for graduation.

“Do I go with the purple shimmer or the gold shimmer?” Yeonjun asked, interrupting his thoughts. Taehyun looked at the boy and pondered for a while before saying, “Mix them, they’ll both look cute together, because the purple matches the vibe of your hair and the gold will shine prettily in the sun.” Yeonjun lights up at the prospect of mixing both shimmers and excitedly gets to work. Taehyun stares at him fondly and tries thinking of the future, what the new school year will look like without Yeonjun for the first time in his life.

He trusts with his whole heart that they’ll keep contact, they’ve been best friends for ages now, yet he can’t not feel a bit worried.

“Hyung?” Yeonjun looks up from where he was staring at himself in the mirror while applying his makeup and hums in acknowledgment. Taehyun takes this as a sign to continue. “Do you think we’ll keep contact when you’re off to college after this summer?” Yeonjun lets a small smile grace his face and puts down his things and slowly makes his way over to Taehyun to join him on the bed. The younger opens his arms so the older can lie down. Yeonjun seems to ponder for a few seconds before he opens his mouth. “I have all the trust in the world that we’ll keep contact. You’re my best friend, my soulmate, I literally wouldn’t know what to do without you.” Taehyun’s heart started beating faster at this, his feelings for his hyung getting even more intense when hearing words like this. 

Taehyun smiles softly and cards his hands through Yeonjun's hair starting to hum a song softly under his breath. Yeonjun smiles and cuddles closer to Taehyun. “I could never leave you behind Tyunnie, you’re my world.” Yeonjun softly mumbles into Taehyun’s chest. 

Taehyun was sure Yeonjun could feel how fast his heart was beating, but at this moment he didn’t care. Yeonjun slowly removed himself from the embrace to continue getting ready for his graduation tonight. Meanwhile Taehyun got out his phone to text Soobin.

**_taehyun_ **

hyung, im like majorly and utterly fucked

**_soobin ᵕ̈_ **

normalise giving context??? pls???

**_taehyun_ **

yeonjun

**_soobin ᵕ̈_ **

aha there we have it

what happened

**_taehyun_ **

god, hes just so??

fucking??

pretty??

and im so in love w him

**_soobin ᵕ̈_ **

i shouldve known this was gonna eb another

yeonjun rant

**_taehyun_ **

bitch

**_soobin ᵕ̈_ **

excuse me?

**_taehyun_ **

ur a bitch

**_soobin ᵕ̈_ **

respect????? im older than u???

**_taehyun_ **

doesnt mean ur not a bitch

**_soobin ᵕ̈_ **

fuck u

Taehyun chuckles at his phone and puts it aside. When he looks bad at Yeonjun he sees that he’s already moved on to putting on his clothes for tonight. He smiles when he sees Yeonjun looking at himself in the mirror.

“You look pretty hyung.” The older man turned around and pouted. “Just pretty? Not gorgeous or beautiful?” Taehyun chuckled and stood up from the bed. He took Yeonjun’s hands and looked him in the eye. “You always look gorgeous,” he said in all seriousness. Yeonjun blushed and averted his gaze. He cleared his throat and said “Well, it’s almost time for us to go to the venue. Let’s go downstairs?” Taehyun hummed but didn’t release his hold on Yeonjun’s hand when going downstairs.

Yeonjun called his mom and stepmom from where they were standing in the living room and they rushed over. From where he was standing, Taehyun could see Mrs. Choi tearing up looking at her beautiful son. She opened her arms and Yeonjun ran into them, his stepmom joining the hug. Taehyun stood there until Yeonjun’s stepmom motioned for him to join the hug. “Look at my boys, all grown up.” Mrs. Choi let out a teary chuckle. Mrs. Na rolled her eyes fondly at her wife and kissed the side of her head. Meanwhile Yeonjun just whined at his mom’s words but hugged her even tighter.

Slowly they let each other go and composed themselves. Mrs. Na chuckled at the scene and went to get her phone from the kitchen to take pictures of the boys. Yeonjun and Taehyun gladly posed for Yeonjun’s moms, who were trying to contain their tears but very much failing to do so. 

After all the pictures had been taken and they had some snacks, all four of them made their way to the venue where the graduation ceremony would be held. Upon arrival, Yeonjun and Taehyun quickly spotted Soobin, Changbin, Wooyoung and Soobin’s boyfriend Changmin waiting for them. A little later Huening Kai also arrived and joined them.

Taehyun realised this was probably one of the last times in a while that they would all spend time together, because Changmin was in college already and Changbin and Wooyoung would also join Yeonjun in Seoul to study. That left only Soobin, who would be graduating next year, Taehyun and Huening Kai.

The ceremony was over quicker than he had expected it to be and soon after they were outside taking pictures with their friends and their families. Now reality started to hit Taehyun and he actually realised that Yeonjun would be leaving in about a month. He distanced himself from the group, not wanting them to see him crying. Of course, luck was not on his side because Changmin, ever the observant person, very quickly realised he was absent. He came over to where Taehyun was sitting and put an arm around him. For a few seconds the elder said nothing.

“I was gonna ask you if you were okay, but you obviously aren’t. So, I’m gonna ask you something else instead. When are you gonna tell him?” Taehyun spluttered and looked at Changmin with wide eyes. “You know? Am i that obvious?” He asked back. The older one hummed “Actually you’re really subtle, but after a while i started to connect the dots. Also, Soobin told me about your crush.” Taehyun cursed Soobin out with several colourful words in his mind before he sighed. “I don’t think I’m gonna tell him honestly. He’s going to college in a month, hyung. I don’t wanna put this on his shoulders right now.” Changmin sighed and nodded in understanding. “Just know that I’m always here for you and I’m sure Soobin is too.” Taehyun smiled at him and wiped away his tears. They both stood up and made their way back to their friends.

Needing to be close to Yeonjun right now, Taehyun just cuddled up to his hyung without paying any attention to the rest of the group. They all chuckled at Taehyun’s clingy behaviour but said nothing about it. After a while Yeonjun and Taehyun said bye to their friends and made their way to Yeonjun’s moms. Together they went to their favourite Italian restaurant to celebrate his graduation over dinner.

The month after Yeonjun's graduation was all just a blur of them constantly being together. If Yeonjun wasn’t sleeping over at Taehyun’s place, then Taehyun was sleeping over at Yeonjun’s place. They also met up with several of their friends over the weeks, but most of all, they were inseparable. Taehyun also helped Yeonjun pack everything for college that was starting in a few weeks.

They had also decided to dye Yeonjun’s hair from the pastel pink he had going on, back to black. “For a new start” Yeonjun had said. Taehyun had just laughed at the elder and then continued dyeing his hair. When Yeonjun came out of the shower afterwards Taehyun’s mouth went dry. The blonde tried not to stare at the elder with his newly dyed black hair, but his tummy just looked so soft and yet he knew there were muscles hidden just underneath the surface, so it was almost impossible for him to tear his eyes away. When Yeonjun looked up, he chuckled at Taehyun’s red face and waved cutely at the younger one on his bed. Taehyun sputtered and quickly looked back at his phone.

**_taehyun_ **

im literally am gonna combust

**_huening kai_ ** **_•ʚ•_ **

what happened

**_soobin_ ** **ᵕ̈**

no wait dont tell me

yeonjun!!!!! 

**_huening kai_ ** **_•ʚ•_ **

yeonjun

i shouldve guessed

**_taehyun_ **

i hate yall

**_huening kai_ ** **_•ʚ•_ **

we know

**_soobin_ ** **ᵕ̈**

we know

we love you too

**_taehyun_ **

no but srsly

idk how im gonna keep this up

**_huening kai_ ** **_•ʚ•_ **

wdym?

**_taehyun_ **

its just

i love him so much its ridiculous

hes?? just the loml

**_soobin_ ** **ᵕ̈**

dramatic whore

**_taehyun_ **

okay no maybe im being dramatic but

he certainly feels like the loml

ive just been loving him for so long

and i honestly dont know how i just need to handle all these feelings at times

**_soobin_ ** **ᵕ̈**

yk we’re always here for u right?

iknow we always tease you for ur crush, but youre still one of our best friends

**_huening kai_ ** **_•ʚ•_ **

yeah tyun

we love you lots

and even tho we might not understand your feelings for yeonjun completely

we’re still there for uyo

**_taehyun_ **

thank you guys

srsly 

i love you lots

**_soobin_ ** **ᵕ̈**

we love you too tyun

**_huening kai_ ** **_•ʚ•_ **

all the love back at you bitch

Taehyun sighed and put his phone back down and saw that Yeonjun had put on some comfortable clothes and he looked ready to take a nap. Taehyun also laid down and opened his arms so Yeonjun could crawl in them. Seeing Taehyun on the bed, the older quickly joined and rested his head on Taehyun's chest and quickly gave in to sleep. Taehyun wasn’t feeling sleepy yet so he just softly pat Yeonjun’s hair and decided to just admire Yeonjun’s pretty features while asleep? “He truly is beautiful.” Taehyun whispered, not speaking too loud in fear of waking the older up. The blonde kissed his sleeping hyung’s hair before also giving in to sleep.

It was in one of the moments when they were packing Yeonjun’s stuff into boxes that Taehyun broke down. The both of them were just putting the last of Yeonjun’s clothes into a suitcase and while looking around, he realised how a lot of the things that Yeonjun owned had been put into suitcases. He just started crying, because now it was all super real. Yeonjun looked up in shock when he heard sniffling coming from his best friend. He dropped the socks he was folding and quickly made his way over to where Taehyun was sitting on the floor.

Yeonjun went to sit behind him and pulled him into his chest and held him tight. Taehyun turned around in the elder’s arms and hid his face in his best friend’s neck, not wanting him to see him like this. Yeonjun said nothing and just held Taehyun tight while rubbing his back and occasionally kissing the top of his head, waiting until the younger calmed down. When the black-haired boy saw that Taehyun had calmed down he hummed and asked “Wanna tell me what has made you so upset or do you wanna stay like this for a bit longer?” 

Taehyun slowly removed his face from where it was hidden in Yeonjun's neck and looked up at the older. He was silent for a few seconds. “It’s just that you’re gonna be gone in two days and I’m gonna miss you so much.” He started tearing up again, but quickly wiped those tears away. “We’ve never been apart longer than two weeks at once and now you’re just gonna be gone for months. I know I have Soobinnie hyung and Hyuka at school, but it’s just not gonna be the same without you, hyung.” Yeonjun just looked down at Taehyun and the younger boy realised his hyung also had tears shining in his eyes. Yeonjun slowly let them fall and just hugged Taehyun tight again for a minute and patted his hair, mostly for his own comfort and not Taehyun’s. 

He slowly breathed out and looked Taehyun in the eyes. “I know I’m gonna be gone physically but I’ll always be in your heart, yeah? Nothing is ever gonna separate us.” He stopped for a second to calm himself down before he started crying again. “and I know that it’s gonna be hard and I’m gonna miss you so much, but hey we’re Yeonjun and Taehyun, inseparable since my eighth birthday party.” Taehyun chuckled at the memory of their first meeting, “We’ll find ways to stay in contact, there’s facetime and we can both save up to visit each other. We’ll be okay.”

Taehyun let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and let himself smile softly. “I love you, hyung.” Taehyun had never meant something more in his life and had never put so much emotion into four words, but he couldn’t let Yeonjun know that.

Instead of packing his things further, Yeonjun decided to stop for the day, because he could see that Taehyun was visibly upset and in no state to actually continue helping. 

So, for the rest of the day the both of them just basked in each other’s presence. They watched some of their favourite cartoons together and then blasted some NCT, SHINee and Loona to loosen some tension in their bodies. Around five pm, Mrs. Na came in with some sprite and cola and a platter of snacks for the boys. However, when she knocked on the door, no one answered. Slowly opening the door and peeking inside, she saw that the two boys were cuddled up closely on the bed. She chuckled fondly and softly put the platter and soda on Yeonjun’s desk before silently making her way out of the room. 

Two days had passed by and now Yeonjun and his moms were getting the last little things ready before they actually left for Seoul. 

When the morning broke, Taehyun dreaded getting out of bed. He had been tossing and turning all night, unable to shake off the uneasy feeling he had in his stomach. He eventually did get up because no matter how much he disliked Yeonjun leaving, he wasn’t going to let the older boy go without giving him one last (read: a lot) of hugs. 

When 2pm hit, Yeonjun’s moms were done loading up the car and decided to sit in the front of the car, so they could let the two boys have some privacy. Mrs. Choi looked at her wife and softly sighed. “When will these boys realise they’re hopelessly in love with each other.” Mrs. Na looked up from her phone and answered, “I think it’s only our son who is oblivious to his feelings, I feel like Taehyun very much knows.” They both let out soft sighs and decided to change the topic. 

Outside of the car Yeonjun and Taehyun had been hugging for the past three minutes. Taehyun thought it was cute how his hyung made himself smaller so he could hide his face in the younger’s neck. “I’m gonna miss you.” Yeonjun mumbled, not releasing his hold on Taehyun. “I’m gonna miss you too, you dummy.” Taehyun softly said before holding Yeonjun even tighter than before. 

Taehyun slowly let Yeonjun go, but Yeonjun refused and held on even tighter. Taehyun’s heart hurt, wanting desperately to tell Yeonjun how he felt about him. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t risk the ten years of friendship they had built. He also doesn’t know how they would even handle it with Yeonjun being this far away and being a freshman in college, while Taehyun still had two years of high school left. So, he decided to not say anything and finally let Yeonjun go. The older pouted at the hug being broken, but they both realised they couldn’t stretch this moment out any longer since it took a while to get to Seoul. 

Feeling brave, Taehyun took Yeonjun’s face softly in his hands and kissed him on the forehead, closing his eyes and relishing in the moment. Yeonjun opened his eyes wide in shock, but slowly relaxed and put his hands on top of Taehyun’s. Taehyun let Yeonjun go and looked straight into his eyes and said “You’re gonna ace this college shit and you’re gonna become an awesome dancer. Everyone will love you.” Yeonjun nodded while blushing and quickly gave Taehyun one last hug before getting into the car.

Taehyun saw Yeonjun talking to his moms before the car started to drive away. Yeonjun opened the window and hung half his body out the window to enthusiastically wave at Taehyun. The younger boy smiled big and waved back until the car was only a little dot on the horizon. He sighed and slowly made his way back to his own house.

The first few weeks without Yeonjun constantly by his side were difficult for Taehyun. He constantly missed the older boy’s warmth and he missed how he would make himself smaller so he could fit into Taehyun’s hugs. Overall, he just misses the comfort and habituation that came along with the older boy. They did keep lots of contact over facetime and text, luckily. Taehyun probably would’ve gone crazy otherwise. 

By the time school started again, Taehyun had kinda gotten used to being without Yeonjun. However, when lunch rolled around, it was very weird to see only Soobin, Huening Kai and some other kid he didn’t know. He really missed all the seniors that graduated. 

Taehyun plopped down on the seat available next to Huening Kai and let out a big sigh before leaning his head on the younger boy’s shoulder. He looked up at Soobin sitting in front of him and asked, “How do you do it?” Soobin raised an eyebrow in question while continuing to eat his chocolate pudding. “How do you not constantly miss Changmin hyung with him being in college?” Soobin let out a sound of acknowledgement and set down his now empty pudding. “It was pretty difficult in the beginning, but you honestly get used to it. You also find ways to stay in contact. For example, hyung and me go on a date every month at a middle point between our cities. After a while you just invent new ways to stay in contact and I’m sure you and Yeonjun hyung will do the same thing.” Taehyun also remembered how difficult it had been for Soobin in the beginning, since he and Changmin had only started dating a week after the elder’s graduation. That also meant they were barely dating for a month before Changmin had left for college.

Taehyun nodded and lifted his head from Huening Kai’s shoulder, only now realising he never introduced himself to the new guy sitting next to Soobin. “Oh, sorry, hi my name is Taehyun, sorry you had to see this when it’s our first time meeting.” The other guy let out a laugh and shook his head. “You’re fine dude, my name is Beomgyu, I just transferred here to finish my junior and senior year. Now who is this person you’re so heartbroken over?” Taehyun smiled at the new guy, already liking his attitude. However, before Taehyun could say all the things he wanted to say about Yeonjun, Huening Kai interrupted him, “Please don’t let him talk about Yeonjun hyung or he’ll never fucking stop. Like never, he just keeps on going.” Taehyun rolled his eyes at his younger friend but smiled. He looked back at Beomgyu and said “Yeonjun hyung, he’s been my best friend ever since I was five and he was just turning eight. Like we literally met at his eighth birthday party because me and mom had just moved in two houses from theirs and Mrs. Choi had invited us over to meet her and her son.” Taehyun smiled fondly at the memory and heard three snorts coming from around him. Only Beomgyu had the decency to look sheepish before he said, “Sounds more like you’re in love with him than just best friends.” “He is.” Soobin and Huening Kai chorused. 

Taehyun glared at his friends before turning his attention back at Beomgyu. “Hyung is literally my closest friend and like these idiots said,'' he pointed at Huening Kai and Soobin, “I am in love with him, but I don’t think I’m ever gonna confess to be honest.” Beomgyu looked at him quizzically and Taehyun answered the brown-haired boy before he could even open his mouth. “I just don’t wanna risk our friendship. His friendship is way too precious for me to risk it all just because I’m in love with him.” Beomgyu hummed in understanding and a solemn vibe overtook the four boys sitting at the table. Beomgyu noticed this and quickly changed the topic by asking them if any of them listened to Red Velvet and Loona.

The four boys quickly grew close over the next few weeks, Beomgyu being added to their group chat after a week. While Taehyun was happy to have made a new friend, he still missed Yeonjun terribly. They hadn’t been able to facetime in the past few days because the older boy was busy with some dance assignment for his dance class. The last time they facetimed was right after Yeonjun’s evening dance class, after he had taken a shower. Yeonjun always looked extra soft and squishy when he came right from the shower. The black-haired boy had excitedly told him about the assignment they got for his dance class. Taehyun smiled at how cute his hyung looked while talking about everything with stars in his eyes, like a kid in a candy store. They talked until Taehyun couldn’t physically keep his eyes open anymore. Taehyun yawned really big and said, “I’m sorry hyung, I wanna talk longer, but I’m so tired, getting back in the rhythm of school really tired me out.” Yeonjun chuckled softly at how cute the blonde was being. “It’s okay baby Tyunnie, just get some sleep now and we’ll talk later.” Taehyun’s heart skipped a beat at the nickname but only gave a sleepy smile back. “Bye hyung, I love you, goodnight.” “Bye baby Tyunnie, I love you too, sweet dreams.” Yeonjun answered before ending the facetime call. When the call ended, Taehyun dropped his phone next to his pillow and went to sleep with a smile on his face.

Taehyun was honestly happy that everything was going so well for his hyung, but he missed him. It had been a week since he had heard from the older. Of course, they still texted, but it wasn’t the same as their almost daily facetime calls. His sulky mood must’ve been really obvious because as soon as he joined his friends for lunch, they asked him what was up. He wanted to shrug them off by saying it was nothing, but the other three were having none of it.

“It’s not nothing if it makes you this upset, Tyun.” Soobin said, his face full of concern. Taehyun just sighed and laid his head on his arms. “It’s just that i’ve barely heard from Yeonjun this past week. Okay we text, but it’s not the same. I miss him a lot, hyung.” Taehyun lifted his head so he wasn’t actually talking to the table anymore but towards his friends. “I know he has this big project and I know he’s excited to work on it. Don’t get me wrong I’m excited for him too!! But is it really too much to ask for just a few more texts than just _goodmorning Tyun_ and _goodnight Tyunnie_?” Taehyun let out a sigh before turning to his food. Realising his hunger had disappeared, he shoved his food to the side and just rested his head on the table again. 

He didn’t see the concerned looks all three of the other boys shared above his head, but they silently decided not to say anything about it. For the rest of lunch time the three boys just left Taehyun alone, because they could sense he was not in the mood to talk about anything anyway. 

When the bell rang, they all made their way to their respective classes. Huening Kai latched on to Taehyun, since they both shared a math class in the classroom in the furthest wing. 

They silently walked together until Kai broke the silence. “What if you went to visit Yeonjunnie hyung in Seoul? I’m sure he would be happy to see you.” Taehyun looked up at Huening Kai in wonder before disappointment overtook his face. “I don’t have the money for that, Hyuka. I don’t have a job since I’m always so busy for school.” 

“Ah but that’s where I come in.” The younger gleefully said. Taehyun looked at his friend with a questioning look. “I saved up a lot from the job I worked this summer, and I don’t mind giving some to you, so you can visit hyung.”

Taehyun quickly shook his head, not wanting to accept the money. Huening Kai just pouted, “But Tyun, this is money i especially saved so I could help my friends.” He whined. Taehyun shook his head with a smile and didn’t answer anymore. 

Taehyun didn’t hear anything from Yeonjun anymore for two weeks. The blonde haired boy was hurt, because how could his best friend just not text him anymore? He decided not to text Yeonjun too much in case the elder was busy and would be annoyed at him. 

After those two weeks, on Tuesday evening, Taehyun’s phone started ringing with an incoming facetime call. Expecting it to be Beomgyu, he picked up without looking at the name. His face morphed into surprise when he saw his favourite person on his screen. The older man looked radiant, his black hair growing into a mullet. Taehyun smiled, hurt feelings that piled up over the past weeks, disappearing upon seeing Yeonjun’s face. 

“Hi, hyung. I missed you.” He softly said. Yeonjun giggled and smiled big. “Hi Taehyunnie!” The older said excitedly before continuing, “I’m sorry for not texting you, but you’ll never guess what happened.”

Taehyun looked fondly at his hyung through the screen and motioned with his head for the older to continue. Yeonjun seemed very giddy before finally saying what he wanted to say. “I got a girlfriend Tyunnie!!!” He giggled some more, “A girlfriend!! She’s so pretty and sweet and she’s in my dance class. Her name is Jieun and I’m so happy.”

While Yeonjun continued rambling, Taehyun’s world seemed to stop turning on its axis. He hadn’t processed anything the older had said after “I got a girlfriend.” He couldn’t handle it. 

After a while Yeonjun realised Taehyun still hadn’t said anything and called Taehyun’s name. Only after the fourth time, is when Taehyun snapped back into reality. With his heart beating faster than healthy, he shakily exhaled before slipping a smile on his face. 

“I’m happy for you, hyung. She sounds amazing.” Not noticing how distant and hurt Taehyun sounded, Yeonjun giggled again and continued telling Taehyun about his new girlfriend. Meanwhile Taehyun’s world kept crumbling more and more with each word that came out of Yeonjun’s mouth. 

Taehyun doesn’t know how much time passed, but when he saw Yeonjun yawning he saw his way out of this call. He knew it was rude of him to cut the call short, especially after not having talked for weeks. “Hyung, I’m tired and I see that you’re tired too, so is it okay if I hang up? I have class early in the morning.” Yeonjun clearly wasn’t used to this kind of behaviour coming from the younger and the hurt was clear on his face. Normally Taehyun would feel guilty, but his heart hurt too much to feel anything else. Without even saying goodbye, Taehyun disconnected the call and started crying. He cried until he fell asleep. 

When the morning came Taehyun refused to come out of his bed. Even after his mom had called him down several times, he did not move. After calling his name for the third time without response, his mom probably realised something was up and he heard her come up the stairs. Taehyun heard her knocking on the door but didn’t have energy left to even answer her. While she normally wouldn’t open the door when she got no answer, her concern for her son acting like this got the best of her and she slowly opened the door.

When she saw her son laying in his bed curled up like a little baby, she made her way over and sat next to him on his bed. “Hey honey, I’m sorry for entering your room like this, but I’m really concerned because you haven’t answered me yet and this is out of the normal for you.” While she was talking, Taehyun slowly took his head out of where it was hidden under his covers and his mom came to stroke his hair. “Is everything okay squirrelbaby?” Taehyun was okay until his mom called him the nickname he hadn’t heard in ages. Tears just started pouring out, without any control. Soon after he was full on sobbing and crawled into his mom’s arms. His mom said nothing and just kept stroking his hair and his back in intervals. 

After a few minutes Taehyun had calmed down enough to look up at his mom. “Yeonjun hyung got a girlfriend.” He saw his mom’s face change from confusion to realisation to pity. She felt bad for her son, because even though he had never outright told her he had a crush on Yeonjun, she knew. She saw it in the way her son cared for Yeonjun. 

Mrs. Kang hugged her son and let him cry for a bit longer and decided to let him stay home until he felt better again. She went downstairs and got him some water, because he was probably dehydrated from all the crying. 

Taehyun stayed home for three days until he decided to go to school again. He knew his friends, Yeonjun included, were worried about him since he just disappeared without a trace, not texting or updating any of them in the past three days. 

When he entered school, it didn’t take long for his friends to spot him, Beomgyu being the first one to see him. They all came to him running and Taehyun got tackled into a hug by Huening Kai. Taehyun let out a breath at the impact of having the overgrown puppy boy attacking him with a hug, but gratefully returned it before letting go of him. 

Soobin was the first one to start asking him questions. “Are you okay? Were you sick? I called your mom, but she just told me you didn’t feel well.” Taehyun shrugged and just told them he felt under the weather. He didn’t feel like being on the receiving end of their pitying gazes and it was also not his place to tell them that Yeonjun had a girlfriend. 

He disregarded their disbelieving and concerned gazes and made his way to class since the bell had rung a few seconds ago. Since it was a class, he had with Huening Kai, the younger walked with him. Taehyun could feel the taller boy’s gaze burning into the side of his face but decided to ignore it. Huening Kai was having none of that though. He pulled on Taehyun’s arm so he could stop him from walking to class. Taehyun got ready to protest about being late to class but let out a sigh of defeat when he saw the look on his friend’s face. 

Huening Kai took his wrist and walked them to the courtyard, just out of the direct sight of the teachers nearby. “Now actually tell me what’s wrong and none of that I’m feeling under the weather bullshit.” Taehyun wanted to protest but quickly gave up when he saw the concern and determination on his best friend’s face. 

“It’s just Yeonjun.” The younger looked at him with a questioning look in his eyes. Taehyun felt his throat close up and barely got what he wanted to say out loud. “He- uhm- he got a- he got a girlfriend.” It came out as a whisper, but judging by Huening Kai’s face, he figured that the younger had understood what he said anyway. 

It took Taehyun all his power to not burst out in tears again. The dam broke when he heard Huening Kai whisper “oh baby boy” and opened his arms for the blonde. Taehyun let his tears run freely while hugging the taller. It felt good to let it out and be comforted by one of his closest friends. 

They ended up skipping the whole day, whisking Beomgyu and Soobin away from their classes right after their first period. They all went to Soobin’s house, since it was the closest and also his parents weren’t home. Taehyun decided to tell his other two friends also what was going on with him and they just hugged and comforted him after he told them. 

A few weeks had passed by and the contact between Yeonjun and Taehyun is almost back to normal. The elder had realised that he also needed to put effort into keeping contact with his best friend. Taehyun had apologised after a week to Yeonjun, but still not giving a reason for his abrupt leaving of the call nor the fact that he ignored everyone for three days. Over the weeks that passed by the contact slowly went back to normal. They still don’t facetime everyday like that before, but Taehyun isn’t exactly complaining because there’s only so much Yeonjun gushing about Jieun that Taehyun's heart can take.

He also grows closer to Beomgyu, the older comforting Taehyun a lot when he feels sad over Yeonjun. It’s a normal wednesday night when Taehyun receives a message from Yeonjun.

**_yeonjun ♡_ **

so

whos beomgyu

**_taehyun_ **

a friend from school

he transferred here to finish his junior and senior year

soobin was firneds w him i think

**_yeonjun ♡_ **

oh 

and are you guys

like

close?

**_taehyun_ **

yea i guess u could say so

hes helped me a lot the past few months

why tho

**_yeonjun ♡_ **

no reason

i just

saw him on u rig story and u looked close

and i didn’t know him so I wanted to ask

**_taehyun_ **

yeah

hes just a friend tho

Taehyun honestly didn’t know why he was assuring Yeonjun that they were just friends, it’s not like he would care. He already had a girlfriend.

**_yeonjun ♡_ **

u sure?

because u sure do seem close

u know u can tell me if u have a crush right

itd be so cute hehe

**_taehyun_ **

yeah no

i dont have a crush on boemgyu hyung

hes cute but not my type tbh

i think hes more hyukas type lmao

**_yeonjun ♡_ **

hyuka?????

rlly???

all the interesting shit happening now that i left huh </3

unfair

**_taehyun_ **

lmao

ur not missing alot tho

theyre just kinda hovering next to eo

its quite funny to see tbh

but also gross,,,, bc theyre like practically a couple

but also not.

so its the clingy and cringey without the official title

**_yeonjun ♡_ **

well i hope i can see it next time i come over

**_taehyun_ **

ur visiting????

Taehyun’s heart skips a beat at the prospect of seeing Yeonjun again. Taehyun curses at his stupid heart, because Yeonjun already has a girlfriend, he’s not suddenly going to like Taehyun and forget about his girlfriend. 

**_yeonjun ♡_ **

yeah, im visitign in like two weeks for three days

i have no classes that friday so im coming for three days

**_taehyun_ **

omg how exciting heehhe

u can meet beomgyu then too!!

im sure youll love him

hes so nice

**_yeonjun ♡_ **

im sure he is

see you in two weeks tyunie baby

**_taehyun_ **

see you in two weeks hyung

<3

**_yeonjun ♡_ **

<3

Taehyun was about to curse himself out for sending that heart, until he saw that Yeonjun had sent one back. He let out a sigh of relief and let a little smile grace his face.

The two weeks passed by quickly, Taehyun being excited to see Yeonjun again after months of missing him. When friday came, the now red-haired boy (he had dyed it last night after school with Beomgyu and Huening Kai. Soobin couldn’t come because Changmin had come over.)

When he received a text from Yeonjun saying he had arrived and settled, he quickly went outside and ran two houses over and rang the bell. It was Jaemin who opened the door. The older boy usually spent his free time at his dad’s so Taehyun was kinda surprised to see him. Jaemin greeted him with a smile and let him inside. “He’s in his room.” Jaemin called after him, Taehyun already being on his way inside the house.

Taehyun walked up the stairs, going up to the room where he practically grew up. He knocked on the door but got no response. He opened the door with a big smile on his face, excited to see his favourite person again, but the smile slipped off his face instantly when he registered the scene in front of him. He saw his best friend, shirt off and lightly moaning, underneath a girl. He assumes the girl is Jieun, Yeonjun’s girlfriend. Apparently Taehyun had let out some sort of noise in his shock, because Yeonjun’s eyes snapped open and looked at Taehyun in the doorway.

Yeonjun started blushing furiously and started grabbing for his shirt. Taehyun just stayed rooted in his spot in the doorway, not knowing what to do. In the meanwhile, Jieun didn’t even try to look ashamed at least a tiny bit. She smirked in satisfaction and cleared her throat to move the attention to herself, effectively breaking the staring contest Taehyun and Yeonjun had going on. She felt two pairs of eyes on her and turned her head to Yeonjun and cleared her throat, indicating that he should introduce her. Yeonjun didn’t pay attention to her at the moment though. 

The older, now fully clothed, scrambled up from the bed and ran to Taehyun to hug him. Taehyun opened his arms and held his hyung tight. “Hey baby Tyunnie, I missed you so much.” Yeonjun whispered into Taehyun’s neck. Taehyun resisted the urge to kiss the side of Yeonjun's head and just basked in the fact that he was holding his best friend again after all these months. “I missed you too, so much, hyung.” Taehyun softly whispered back. Taehyun didn’t even have the words to start and explain how much he had missed the now blue-haired boy.

Jieun cleared her throat loudly (and obnoxiously annoying in Taehyun’s opinion, but don’t tell anyone that). Yeonjun seemed to startle out of some sort of trance and distanced himself from Taehyun. He turned himself to Jieun and pulled her softly towards him by the waist and said “Jieun, meet Taehyun, my best friend. Taehyun, meet Jieun, my girlfriend.” Taehyun stuck out his hand to be polite and gave her his customer service smile. Jieun however had different plans and went to hug him. While hugging him she whispered in his “You better stay away from my boyfriend you fucking bitch. Don’t think I don’t see the way you look at him. He’s a taken man.”

Taehyun schooled his features to not let any shock show on his face and pulled away from the hug. Not wanting to stir anything up, he just smiled at the girl now clinging onto Yeonjun again. He couldn’t even be mad about it, the blue-haired boy truly looked happy with Jieun right this moment. “I think the others might be waiting for us in the park.” Taehyun said, just not wanting to be alone with those other two for too long. The three of them made their way to the park, Taehyun walking behind the couple that were holding hands. He opened the group chat with his other friends.

**_taehyun_ **

shes a fcjking bitch

**_beomgyu ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ_ **

who??

the gf?

**_taehyun_ **

ye

**_soobin ᵕ̈_ **

why is she a bithc

**_huening kai_ ** **_•ʚ•_ **

^ 

**_taehyun_ **

she fuckign threatened me

told me to stay away from yeonjune and i quote

“You better stay away from my boyfriend you fucking bitch. Don’t think I don't see the way you look at him. He's a taken man.”

**_soobin ᵕ̈_ **

two things

one. wtf????

two. love how you cited every word she said

**_huening kai_ ** **_•ʚ•_ **

thats so fuckign rude???

and unprovoked??

**_beomgyu ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ_ **

and what even were u doing for her tos ay that

**_taehyun_ **

literally nothing???

we just hugged hello

**_beomgyu ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ_ **

like a friendly hug you would give us

**_huening kai_ ** **_•ʚ•_ **

or the way u hug him usually

**_beomgyu ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ_ **

eyyy we finish eo sentences

**_huening kai_ ** **_•ʚ•_ **

<3

**_taehyun_ **

just the way i usually hug him

why does it matter?

**_soobin ᵕ̈_ **

she was probably jealous, because you guys hug each other like long lost lovers

**_taehyun_ **

whatever i still dont like her

oh btw we’re like a minute away so see you soon

**_huening kai_ ** **_•ʚ•_ **

see you

**_beomgyu ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ_ **

ye see you

**_soobin ᵕ̈_ **

lmao i can see u and at least try not to look like u wanna drown in the river next to us

When the group joined together, yeonjun quickly introduced jieun to the others and they tried not to be too biased, but it probably didn’t work out that great. They decided to just sit around and catch up because they hadn’t seen each other in months. Everything was fine except every time taehyun tried to talk with yeonjun, jieun would interrupt or direct the conversation in a whole different direction. To say Taehyun was annoyed was putting it lightly, he was reaching the end of his patience.

It’s after a few hours of just sitting around and catching up that Jieun suddenly announces she needs to talk privately to Taehyun. All five of them snapped their heads to her with varying emotions written across their face. Beomgyu, Huening Kai and Soobin looked concerned and confused for their friend, Yeonjun just looked at her with adoration and Taehyun didn’t even try to hide his frustration for even a second. He sighed and got up after Jieun, not bothering to try and catch up with her. He wasn’t about to waste extra energy for someone he didn’t even remotely like.

When they were sure to be out of view and earshot of the other four, she turned to Taehyun with a sour look on her face. “Listen here you little fuck. I don’t care what your relationship is to Yeonjun, but you need to stop fucking talking to him.” Taehyun stared at her like she had just grown a second head out of nowhere and felt his neck warm up with the anger he was feeling. She clearly wasn’t finished, because she just continued talking, “Every time he talks about you he gets this look in his eyes and it needs to stop, he’s just always gushing about you. ‘Taehyun this, Taehyun that, oh did you know that Taehyun. He only talks about you sometimes!” She was almost screaming at this point. “I’m gonna make sure he doesn’t talk to you anymore. He’s mine and mine only. So if you know what’s good for you, you stop talking to him entirely.” 

Before Taehyun could even say something back, she was already making her way back to the others, acting as if nothing had happened and she hadn’t just threatened him. He huffed when he realised he couldn’t do anything right now and also made his way back to the group. By the time both of them were back it was almost 6.30 pm, so they packed everything up and made their way back home. 

Taehyun decided to tell no one about what happened with Jieun and decided he would wait to get Yeonjun alone to tell him what happened.

That was his first mistake.

When he finally got Yeonjun alone, they were in his backyard basking in the little bits of sun that were starting to peek through the clouds. He decided to bring it up slowly. “Hey hyung?” Yeonjun turned his head, with his eyes still closed, towards Taehyun, indicating that he was listening. “Remember that day you came back, and we went to the park and Jieun talked to me separately?” The blue-haired boy hummed in acknowledgement and Taehyun took it as a sign to continue. “She said some? Interesting things to me.” That took Yeonjun’s attention, as he opened his eyes and fully sat up and turned his body towards Taehyun. The red-haired boy was hesitant to actually tell Yeonjun what happened, because he didn’t know if his hyung was going to believe him. He just really hoped he would, because he did not want to ruin almost 11 years of friendship. “She basically - uhm - she threatened me to stop talking to you, because you’re hers and she doesn’t want me to talk to you.”

When the younger looked up at his best friend, he could see the anger building up on his face. It was at this moment that Taehyun knew he fucked up and he should’ve just kept his mouth shut. He looked down at his lap, not wanting to face the other right now. From the corner of his eye he saw Yeonjun getting up from his chair abruptly and not long after the older man told Taehyun to look up at him. Taehyun did and he got scared by the angry, no furious expression on Yeonjun’s face. “Don’t ever talk about Jieun like that again, Taehyun. She would never do that. I don’t know what your fucking deal is, but you’ve been fucking mean to her ever since she arrived. I really don’t feel like talking to you anymore so fucking don’t. I’m really disappointed in you, Taehyun. I thought at least you would be supportive and happy for me.” Yeonjun turned around to leave and quickly added, “Also don’t text me anymore.”

Before Taehyun could even defend himself or explain some more, Yeonjun stormed off to his own house, leaving Taehyun all alone. 

Taehyun’s second mistake was not going after Yeonjun to explain the situation. 

The younger boy just sat rooted in his chair, brain not fully comprehending what had happened. By the time he had realised what exactly happened and what Yeonjun had screamed at him, he didn’t have the energy to confront the older anymore. He just got up from his chair, cleaned up the table and went inside. Feeling drained, he just went up to his room and laid face first in his bed. He didn’t know how much time had passed when he suddenly heard a knock on his door. He grunted in acknowledgement and his mom took that as a sign to come inside. She giggled softly when she saw how her son was laying in his bed and joined him on the bed. Taehyun wanted to feel sad and wanted to talk about what happened with his mom, but surprisingly he was pretty okay. He just felt drained, so much had happened in the past few months and he just didn’t feel any deep emotions right now.

His mom moved around on the bed so she could cuddle him. He also shuffled across his bed, right into his mom’s arms. “Hey squirrelbaby, how are you doing today?” She softly said while stroking his hair. He was silent for a bit before finally opening his mouth to answer “I honestly don’t know mom, earlier Yeonjun got mad at me and told me to not talk to him anymore.” He went silent again for a while, trying to look for the right words to say. “I wanna say that I feel upset about it, but I honestly really don’t. I feel pretty much indifferent, like I knew it was coming somehow.” His mom didn’t stop stroking his head softly and he cuddled into her touch.

“Sometimes it’s better to let go if you see that it’s not gonna work out.” Taehyun sighed but said nothing back to his mother. She took this as a sign to continue, “However, I do think you shouldn’t be giving up on Yeonjunnie. He’s just a little confused right now, his love is very new and still in the honeymoon phase and he probably doesn’t realise this girl might not be the one. I’m not excusing his behaviour though, if that boy ever enters this household again, he will hear from both me and his moms.” Taehyun and his mom chuckled at that. She sat up in his bed and said “I think you might be indifferent because of the shock as to what happened. You’ve never had a fight like this before with Yeonjun. I think your brain needs some time to process it, but just know that I’m always here for you.” His mom slowly got up from the bed. Before completely leaving his room, she turned around in the doorway and said, “Don’t give up on him, squirrelbaby, what you two have is something special.” She gave him one of her ‘mom knows all’ soft smiles before finally making her way downstairs. He hears her scream that they’re having pizza for dinner tonight from the place down the street and Taehyun smiles at how good his mom knows him.

After that long day, he hears nothing from Yeonjun anymore. He saw the blue-haired boy leave on monday morning but decided that his bed was more comfortable right now and he didn’t feel like leaving it. Afterwards they just don’t text and facetime anymore, all contact broken. When he later checked his Instagram he also saw that Yeonjun had unfollowed him.

His friends saw how he was not as energetic the weeks following the weekend came home, but he didn’t immediately tell them what had happened. It was when they were holding a get together with just the four of them and drinking for his 18th birthday that he spilled what had happened. He usually wasn’t an emotional drunk, but he did cry that night. Not for very long though, because shitfaced Taehyun decided that “My birthday party is not the time for me to be sad about some stupid man, fuck men!” Before doing three more shots of this melon vodka he had found in his mother’s alcohol cabinet.

It was the morning after, when the hangovers were mostly gone, that Soobin slowly brought up the topic of Yeonjun. They talked about it for a bit, Taehyun explaining what had happened to them over some pasta his mom had made for them. He also told them they didn’t have to worry about him, he would be fine and also asked them if they could not bring up the topic of Yeonjun leaving him. He didn’t ask them to not talk about Yeonjun anymore, because in the end he was still their friend too, but he didn’t want to be reminded of when Yeonjun left him that day. They promised each other to not talk about that weekend.

Time passed by fast for Taehyun and his friends and too quickly Soobin’s graduation was in sight. It was bittersweet for all of them. At one side Soobin was super excited to finally live with Changmin, but he’d be leaving behind everything he knows here in their town. The thing that happened with Yeonjun and Taehyun also didn’t ease his nerves in any way. It was at their get together, it was just the four of them and Changmin, after Soobin’s graduation that the second oldest of the five shared his worries. 

“I know we promised to not talk about this anymore, but it’s really been bothering me lately.” Taehyun’s breath hitched, already guessing what Soobin was going to say. “I’m just scared that we’re gonna lose contact and I really really really don’t want that. I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.” Taehyun let out a sour chuckle and all four of them looked at him with varying facial expressions going from confusing to concern. “It’s funny how you say that, because Yeonjun said practically the same thing to me.” He let out another dry chuckle, “The only difference is, you actually have a nice boyfriend and not some fucking bitch who threatened me.” He heard Changmin let out a snort before he quickly slapped a hand across his mouth and looked at Taehyun with a guilty look. Taehyun looked back at him and let out a laugh, just laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. The others quickly started laughing too, also not believing how ridiculous everything was. The tension quickly dissipated after that and no one brought the subject of Yeonjun’s and Taehyun’s fall out back up.

The summer passed by fairly quickly, since Taehyun had also picked up a part-time job as a barista now. They had spent a lot of time together as a group though. Taehyun only worked four days a week, so when he was free, all four of them would meet up and go do fun stuff. One time they went to an amusement park for the day and ended the night by going out to dinner in a restaurant that was way above their budget. Most of the times when they met up, it was to chill in the park or at Beomgyu’s house, since he had a pool. 

Soon Soobin had left for Seoul to live with his boyfriend and start his college career. That also meant that school was starting up for the three youngest that were still left. On the first day Taehyun looked up when he saw Huening Kai and Beomgyu enter hand in hand. He looked at them with a teasing smile and said, “So you finally got your shit together, huh? How long has this been going on?” Both boys in front of him started to blush and Huening Kai looked towards the ground with a bashful smile. Beomgyu on the other hand took it all in stride and was just bashfully smiling for everyone to see. He turned to the taller boy and kissed him softly on the cheek, “Since two days ago. We wanted to tell you earlier, but we got caught up in our marvel movie marathon.” Taehyun let out a dramatic gasp, “A movie marathon??? More important than me?? Shame on you guys. Fuck gay people!” The three of them laughed at Taehyun’s dramatic tendencies. “No, but seriously I’m so happy you guys finally got your shit together, I’ve been staring at you pining for over a year now.” He took both of the taller boys in his arms and hugged them hard.

Taehyun didn’t think anything special of his junior year. It was mostly still the same old shit, teachers complaining and the same old boring people. He didn’t in particular want to make any new friends, nobody really catching his eye. There was one girl in his science class that sat next time, Yeojin, Taehyun thinks her name was. She was pretty nice and they always did their project together since they both thought it was easier to work together than to look for another partner. She also joined him, Huening Kai and Beomgyu at their lunch table. She also brought along her two friends, who were also seniors along with Beomgyu, Hyejoo and Yerim.

The six of them usually ate lunch together daily. They were a fun bunch, there were two couples, Huening Kai and Beomgyu and also Hyejoo and Yerim had been together for almost two years. Their time together was fun until one day, Yeojin suddenly addressed Taehyun, “What even happened to that pink-haired dude you were so close with, I seriously thought y’all were a couple.” All three of the boys stiffened up at the mention of Yeonjun. It’s not like Kai and Beomgyu had a problem with Yeonjun, they still talked to him occasionally, but it was an unspoken rule (actually no they discussed it) to not mention Yeonjun around Taehyun.

Although the red-haired boy usually was fine when the older boy was mentioned, today he seemed very off. He abruptly got up from his chair and left without saying anything. The three girls looked up in surprise that quickly morphed into confusion when they faced Huening Kai and Beomgyu. Kai didn’t even try to explain what had happened, he just got up and quickly followed Taehyun. 

Beomgyu chuckled embarrassedly and said, “Sorry about them, we don’t really talk to Yeonjun anymore.” He saw the three girls look at him with questioning looks. “I would tell you what happened, but it’s honestly not my place to tell you, I’m sorry.” Yerim dismissed him and said “We understand, dude. Sometimes shit happens that you just want to keep to yourself.” Hyejoo and Yeojin hummed in agreement. “Shouldn’t you also be checking on Taehyun? He looked pretty upset.” Yeojin asked. “Ah- uhm- no, he only really lets Hyuka near him when he’s like that. We’re super close friends, don’t get me wrong, but their relationship is just something else. Not the way Yeonjun and Taehyun were friends, but also super close.” The three girls nodded in understanding and Hyejoo quickly changed the subject by asking them what their favourite ice cream flavour is. Beomgyu smiled at her in gratitude and answered that everything was fine except mint choco. He called it, “A taste that only someone weird like a literal demon spawn would enjoy.”

Taehyun and Huening Kai did not return to lunch that day, but from the next day onward everything was back to normal. Nothing in particular happened over the next following weeks. Taehyun saw that Yeonjun had visited his moms again with his girlfriend but decided to avoid the older boy and his bitchy girlfriend at all cost, since that’s what they both wanted. 

Exams were creeping up on them, so it was time for them to study. The weather was starting to warm up again, so they decided to study at Taehyun’s because he had a nice area in his garden to study. When he heard the bell ring, he yelled at his mother that he would open since it was his friends at the door. He heard her yell an okay back from where she was upstairs and opened the door. He was kind of surprised to see three people in front of him instead of the supposed two, but he didn’t mind it. 

It was Huening Kai who nervously explained the situation. “Heeseung is in Beomie hyung’s class and since we’re studying together, we thought you wouldn’t mind if we brought him along.” Taehyun nodded at the explanation and smiled at Heeseung. “Hi hyung, I’m Taehyung and welcome to my house.” He saw Heeseung smile and immediately thought the older had an adorable smile with all his teeth on display. 

All of them quickly made their way to the garden, where Taehyun’s mom was sunbathing. “Hi Mrs. Kang!” Huening Kai excitedly. Mrs. Kang looked up from where she was laying and smiled at the boys “Huening Kai, Beomgyu, Hi! Oh I see a new face.” She turned to Heeseung and asked, “Hi, I’m Taehyun’s mom and who are you?” her usual friendly and warm smile graced her face. Heeseung smiled back, “Hi Mrs. Kang, I’m Heeseung, a friend of Beomgyu and Kai. They told me it was okay to study here, since i have senior finals coming up like Beomgyu does. I hope that’s alright with you?” Mrs. Kang just smiled at him and gave him a little wave, “Of course that’s okay! Now boys, would any of you like some soda or water?” The boys all said they would like some soda before going to sit at the table situated in the middle of the garden. 

The studying was going pretty efficiently on Taehyun’s part, only sometimes being disturbed by Huening Kai asking questions about geography, since he wasn’t great at it. It was only after an hour or two that he took a break. He looked up and turned to Huening Kai, asking him if he wanted to grab some snacks and drink with him from the kitchen. The younger boy easily agreed and they made their way to the kitchen. 

When returning from the kitchen, Taehyun almost dropped the snacks he was holding in shock when he saw Beomgyu and Heeseung kiss. He turned around to see Huening Kai’s reaction, but the younger just looked fondly at the other two now sharing tiny pecks and whispering to each other. 

“Care to explain what the three of y’all have going on?” The red-haired boy said when he sat back down. The three other boys looked at him in shock and underlying fear. Taehyun realised his mistake and quickly came to change the tone he was speaking in. “Oh god that sounded so rude. I didn’t mean it rude at all, but I’m just curious since I just saw the two of you kiss,” he pointed at the two older boys in front of him, “and Mr. idiot next to me looked at you guys as if you had personally hung up the stars in the sky.” 

All three of their faces took on different shades of red at being caught. Taehyun snorted at their faces. “Hey guys, just so you know, I don’t think it’s weird or disgusting, it just took me by surprise. If you don’t want to tell me I completely understand.” He smiled softly and saw the three other boys relax. 

It was Heeseung that spoke up. “I’d been crushing on Beomgyu for a while now and uhm- when i tutored him, I uhm- I saw an opportunity to ask him out. I didn’t know he had a boyfriend, though. He rejected me of course, because you know,” He motioned at Huening Kai, “But we couldn’t stay away from each other and since Beomie also had feelings for me. Some stuff happened which made me realise I also liked Hyuka. When I confessed this, we realised all three of us needed to have a long talk and yeah he we are now.” Taehyun saw Huening Kai stretch out his hand over the table to take Heeseung’s hand in his and Beomgyu put his arm around the boy next to him and slowly stroked the boy’s arm with his thumb.”

Taehyun spoke up, “Well, I’m happy you all found each other but please keep the gay down, I’m single enough as it is.” He gave the boys a teasing smile before continuing his studying. 

Finals passed and Beomgyu’s and Heeseung’s graduation was in a few hours. All four boys decided to get ready at Beomgyu’s house. Taehyun was chilling on the bed while Beomgyu was painting Heeseung and Huening Kai’s nails, because according to Beomgyu “All three of us need matching manicures because we’re cute like that!” Taehyun had chuckled when he heard that, but the other two boys enthusiastically indulged the older boy. 

When the four boys arrived at school, they immediately met up with Soobin and Changmin, who had come down from Seoul for Beomgyu’s graduation. When the hugs and greetings were done, they made their way to Hyejoo, Yerim and Yeojin. The couple looked beautiful in their matching graduation dresses, Taehyun also telling them so. Eventually the group separated since some of the girls’ older friends also came to visit their graduation. 

When it was done they went outside to take pictures. After a while, Taehyun left with Soobin and Changmin to give the three boyfriends some time with each other. “So Tyun, how are you holding up?” Changmin asked him. “I’m doing pretty okay, honestly. I got to know some new people over the past year and school was okay. I’m excited for senior year since it’s finally my last year in this hellhole before i move to Seoul.” Changmin hummed and tried to talk about something else but was stopped by Soobin. 

Taehyun sighed, already knowing that it was going to be about Yeonjun. “Just ask me, hyung, I don’t mind.” Changmin smiled guiltily and said, “Have you heard that Yeonjun is gonna lead the dance production next year? He was made dance captain.” Taehyun smiled, happy for Yeonjun despite everything that had happened. He came to the realisation a few weeks ago that he was still in love with Yeonjun, despite everything that had happened. He didn’t plan on doing anything about it though, just ignore it and move on. The smile still hadn’t left his face when he turned to the couple next to him, “Congratulate him for me, I know it was his dream to actually lead the yearly dance production.” Changmin smiled in acknowledgement and Taehyun knew the message would reach Yeonjun, since Changmin was in the same dance class as Yeonjun. 

During summer Heeseung and Beomgyu moved into an apartment in Seoul, with two bedrooms. They planned together that Taehyun and Huening Kai could move in next year with them. Taehyun had once again taken up his job at the cafe he worked at last summer and also decided to sign himself up for pole dancing classes because he had heard it was a great workout. After a few weeks of asking (read: begging) Huening Kai, he eventually also convinced his best friend to join him in pole dancing class. It was now an activity both of them shared, they did it every friday evening for a few hours. Since the building of the class was located half an hour out of town, they often spent the night at each other’s houses. 

Taehyun’s senior year really was nothing special. At the start he didn’t really make any new friends, deciding to just spend his time with Yeojin and Huening Kai. He still went to his weekly pole dancing classes with Huening Kai, Yeojin joining them too after hearing them talk about how fun it is.

Over the course of the year he did make some new friends he sometimes talked with. Jeongseong, Jake and Sunghoon. They sometimes ate lunch together and they shared a few classes, but overall Taehyun just kept to Yeojin and Huening Kai. 

He did make more effort to meet up with his other friends in Seoul. Since Huening Kai, Beomgyu and Heeseung often met up since they missed each other, Taehyun sometimes tagged along to see his hyungs. He also met up with Soobin and Changmin this way. 

Senior year zoomed by right in front of him, nothing happening throughout the year and before he knew it, Yeojin, Huening Kai and him were standing in line to pick up their diplomas. It was all over in a flash and suddenly they’re outside again with their friends and their family. A lot of them had come down to see them graduate. Soobin and Changmin were there and of course Heeseung and Beomgyu were there to celebrate the graduation of the youngest boyfriend. Hyejoo and Yerim had also come down for their graduation.

Taehyun introduced Soobin and Changmin to Hyejoo and Yerim and afterwards all 9 of them went out to eat. Taehyun’s mom and Kai’s parents decided to let them celebrate with their friends today and they were going to celebrate the graduation separately later on. After they went to the Korean barbeque place in the neighbourhood, they all moved to Beomgyu’s house to celebrate for the rest of the evening. Taehyun enjoyed having his friends with him again, but somewhere towards the end of the evening he got into a sad mood he hadn’t been in for a while now. He moved to sit at the bottom of the stairs in the Choi residence’s hallway. Just like three years ago it was Changmin who noticed how he had isolated himself from the group. The slightly smaller man approached Taehyun and when the younger boy noticed him he scooted over slightly so the other could squeeze in next to him.

“So what’s got you all down, huh?” Taehyun sighed and looked down at his shoes, fiddling with his fingers. “It’s just, I guess I’m thinking about Yeonjun.” Changmin said nothing, giving the taller boy the chance to get his thoughts together and form words into sentences. The red-haired boy sighed, “I guess it just hit me again how he’s definitely gone from my life.” He let out a dry chuckle. He turned his head towards Changmin and the older man saw the tears glistening in the other’s eyes, but it was clear that he refused to let them fall. “We were supposed to go get dinner at our favourite Italian restaurant for my graduation like we did for his graduation and during the dinner we were gonna ask our mothers to let us move in together in this cute apartment in Seoul.” Taehyun could no longer stop the tears from coming out and he just let them out, not even bothering to wipe them away. He continued, “If I hadn’t by then, I would’ve most probably confessed on that evening and even if he didn’t feel the same, I know I wouldn’t lose my best friend, because we aren’t,” Taehyun cleared his throat, “weren’t like that. We would’ve found a way to make it work for both of us. But now, now I lost my fucking soulmate.” Taehyun’s voice cracked at the word soulmate and the floodgates for the tears opened. The younger boy was now full on sobbing. Changmin looked at him in sympathy and concern before wrapping his arms around him and trying to calm him down. He knew it was useless to reassure the sobbing boy about how everything was different now, since that was exactly what hurt him. So he just continued rubbing the younger’s back and calming him down.

It took a while before Taehyun stopped crying, but once he calmed down a little bit he saw how Soobin was standing in front of him with a glass of water. He took the glass that was offered to him and quickly drank it, suddenly realising he was actually really thirsty. His best friend looked concerned, but he didn’t have the energy to explain it. The red head gave a look to Changmin, indicating that he could explain what happened to Soobin. Taehyun didn’t really pay any attention to what Changmin was saying, still lost in thought. He tried not to think about Yeonjun too much, but it was almost impossible. He let out a heavy sigh and his two older friends turned to him. “I don’t know,” he cleared his throat, “I don’t know why I’m suddenly like this. I’d been doing pretty good at accepting the fact that he was no longer in my life.” Taehyun let out a dry chuckle, “God, I’m talking as if he’s dead.” His two friends said nothing, leaving him the time to collect his thoughts. 

“At first, when everything happened, I hated him. I was so hurt by everything that had happened. 11 years of friendship, down the drain like nothing had ever happened. I still don’t fully comprehend what made him snap like that.” He took a pause to collect his thoughts once again, trying to make sure that what he said made sense. “I think- I think that- I think that I’m mostly over what happened, I’ve made peace with it in a way, I guess. But I can’t help but miss him at important milestones that we were supposed to celebrate together.” He felt a lone tear make its way across his face, but didn’t bother wiping it away. After a while of the three of them sitting in silence, Taehyun spoke up, “I just wanna say that I’m really thankful for the both of you. Especially you, Changmin hyung” he looked at the man sitting next to him, “I never really got to know you in school, but you never made a problem of me being four years younger than you and you’ve given me a lot of advice when you didn’t even need to.” He hugged the smaller man and also pulled Soobin down so he could include him in the hug. He released them from the hug, patted them softly on their heads and then made his way back to the living room where the party was still ongoing in full blast.

Between packing for college, working at the cafe and meeting up with Yeojin, Huening Kai, Heeseung and Beomgyu, Taehyun didn’t realise how fast time had passed. Last he was aware he was starting the first day of summer vacation and now it was the day before he and Huening Kai were moving in with Beomgyu and Heeseung in their college-apartment in Seoul. His mom was helping him pack the last things he needed when she suddenly turned around with something in her hands. 

Taehyun’s breath hitched when he recognised what she was holding. It was a photo frame with several pictures of him and Yeonjun throughout the years, up until they broke off their contact a little over two years ago. He hadn’t had the heart to throw it away, so he decided to just hide it in the back of his closet. Apparently his mom had done some deep digging and found it back. She stared at it for a while before looking at Taehyun and giving the frame to him. “You should take it with you, honey.” She softly said. He looked up at her with questions written all over his face. The smaller lady just looked at the photo frame before smiling at him and continuing packing the now blonde again boys’ bags and suitcases. He decided to not question his mother and just put the frame in his bag, between his clothes. After roughly another half an hour of packing they were finally ready with most things. There were only a few things left to do but they were planning on doing that in the morning.

Since Taehyun and his mom had a few hours left before their reservation at the Italian restaurant, they decided to go take a walk in the park near their house. They just walked around in comfortable silence, basking in the last moments they’ll be spending together before seeing each other a lot less. The blonde is grateful that his relationship with his mom is so good. His dad had died when he was three and she did everything in her might to raise Taehyun to the person he was today. He couldn’t be more thankful to her. He decided to voice his thoughts to his mom, “Hey mom?” The small woman looks up at her son, “I just wanna say thank you for always being there for me. I know it must've not been easy after dad passed away.” It was quite unusual for them to talk about his dad, since he didn’t really remember anything from when he was alive. The older woman just looked at her son, her eyes turned slightly sad. “It wasn’t, but I just know he’d be proud of both us right now. He’d be proud of you turned out to be an amazing young man.” She smiled, looking off in the distance and reminiscing the times her husband was still alive. For the rest of the walk they didn’t talk anymore, not feeling as if it was necessary. When it was nearing 7pm, they got ready to go to the Italian restaurant and enjoyed their meals there. 

The next morning, it was time to leave for Seoul. His mom and Huening Kai’s parents had agreed to try and meet at approximately the same time at the apartment so all people could help move Taehyun into the second bedroom and help Huening Kai unpack the last of his stuff in the big bedroom the other three boys shared. Overall it didn’t take long for Huening Kai to get settled, since he already had quite a bit of his stuff in the apartment because he came over quite often to visit his two boyfriends. 

Mrs. and Mr. Kamal were helping Taehyun and his mom unbox the last of Taehyun’s stuff while the couple began working on some snacks. When everything was unpacked and most things were put away, the four of them walked out of the blonde’s bedroom and were met with the delicious smell of _jjajangmyeon._ The couple had set the table for all seven off them and put the steaming pot in the middle of the table. With his stomach grumbling at the delicious smell, Taehyun now only realised how hungry he actually was. The afternoon passed like that, all seven of them just eating and talking. When the clock neared 6pm, the parents decided it was time to go back home since they had quite a ride still ahead.

The first few weeks of college weren’t particularly interesting for Taehyun. The workload was bigger than what he was used to in high school, but it was nothing he couldn’t adjust to. He made some friends in his classes, which he hung out with at lunch when Huening Kai, Heeseung, Soobin or Beomgyu weren’t available. It was somewhere three weeks after school had started that Jeongin from his accounting class invited him to a party that was going to happen in one of the frats on campus. Taehyun didn’t see a problem with going and just asked if he could extend the invitation to his friends. When the older boy nodded, he texted the group chat.

**_taehyun_ **

gays

**_soobin ᵕ̈_ **

guys*

**_taehyun_ **

do i look like i wanted to say guys?

theres not even one straifht person in this group

**_huening kai_ ** **_•ʚ•_ **

lmao

**_soobin ᵕ̈_ **

point made

**_beomgyu ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ_ **

ccan u let the dude say what he wants now

i have class in a few

**_heeseung (*˘︶˘*)_ **

honey u never pay attention in music history

**_beomgyu ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ_ **

lmao iknow i just want him to hurry up

**_taehyun_ **

...

**_changmin ✿_ **

let the gay boy speak

**_taehyun_ **

thanks hyung

**_changmin ✿_ **

yw

**_taehyun_ **

okay so i got invited to this fratparty

on thursday i htink

and i could bring ppl too

so anyone wanna go

**_soobin ᵕ̈_ **

sure

i have a 10am class on friday tho

so i probbaly wont stay super long

**_changmin ✿_ **

im leaving when soob leaves, but im coming too

**_heeseung (*˘︶˘*)_ **

im gonna have to pass, i havent had any sleep in the past

three days and i have a 9am class too

**_taehyun_ **

understandable

lets hope u can come w next time

beomgyu hyung? huening kai?

**_huening kai_ ** **_•ʚ•_ **

beomie hyung says hes gonna stay in w hee so hes not alone,

im coming along tho

**_taehyun_ **

nice

r we pregaming at ours too?

if thats okay w heeseungie hyung since hes tired

**_heeseung (*˘︶˘*)_ **

its fine

as long ass yall dont stay til crack ass of dawn its fine w me

**_taehyun_ **

yeah no itd be like 10/11 before we leave

**_heeseung (*˘︶˘*)_ **

ye okay thats fine 

its not like i go to sleep earlier

**_taehyun_ **

nice

so everyone

thursday at 7ish were pregaming at the apartment

Taehyun pocketed his phone and turned his attention back to his accounting friends. They had about half an hour left before most of them had to go back to class, including Taehyun. When it’s almost time to go, most of them start to pack up their tuff and that’s when something catches Taehyun’s eye. He felt the colour drain from his face as he thought he saw Yeonjun walking not even five meters from him. Jeongin saw how Taehyun had paled and asked him if he was okay. Taehyun snapped out of his stupor and quickly told the older boy he was okay. Jeongin eyed him carefully before deciding not to bother Taehyun anymore. Taehyun in the meanwhile was totally out of it. He could not have seen Yeonjun just not, no not possible. The dance building was completely on the other side of the campus, it was about a twenty minute walk. “Why would Yeonjun be here?” Taehyun whispered to himself. “No, that wasn’t Yeonjun, you haven’t seen Yeonjun in years and what would he be doing by the Economy building, that makes no sense.” At this point Taehyun knew he was just trying to convince himself. It could also very much be that he was seeing ghosts, because he had forgotten to put on his glasses or contacts today. He decided to just shake off what had happened, because he knew if he kept thinking about it he’d just end up spiralling. 

The days fled by and it was thursday night. Huening Kai and him were getting ready in his room, since they didn’t want to bother their hyungs too much. With 5sos and One Direction blasting through the speakers the two friends were doing their makeup. They both had decided on pretty neutral makeup but decided to add glitter at the last moment. When they were completely ready with their makeup and outfit, they went to the kitchen and cracked open a bottle of vodka and each did three shots of vodka before starting on some snack to eat while pregaming.

They heard Heeseung and Beomgyu come out of the room and they whistled when seeing the two younger boys. “You guys look hot.” Beomgyu said. Taehyun and Huening Kai giggled while striking a few poses. About ten minutes after Huening Kai and Taehyun finished making the snacks, Changmin and Soobin arrived. Changmin was holding a bottle of their favourite melon vodka and a six pack of beer, Soobin was holding two more six packs of beer. 

The youngest two quickly ushered everyone to the kitchen and made everyone take two shots of the melon vodka before cracking open six beers and bringing it to the living room. The night progressed well, all of them finishing the beer and afterwards everyone except Heeseung and Beomgyu switched over to the vodka. The four of them finished both bottles before they said goodnight to the two people staying at home around 10pm. They arrived at the party on campus around 10:30pm. If they had been sober it only would’ve taken them around 10 minutes, but Soobin and Kai kept tripping over their own feet. 

The door was open when they arrived, so the four of them just went inside and made their way to the bar. Since Soobin had an early class, Changmin made him drink two glasses of water before continuing to drink. Taehyun decided he was still sober enough (read: he really wasn’t) to not need any water and helped himself to some questionable alcohol mix that was standing on the counter. After an hour or so the blonde boy had lost all three of his friends. He assumed that Soobin and Changmin were making out somewhere in either a bedroom or a bathroom and Huening Kai had left him to go talk to some girls from his child psychology class. 

Taehyun made his way to the kitchen again and decided that he seriously needed to drink some water. He was on his second glass of water when he saw a pretty boy dressed in leather pants and a cut up tank top. Taehyun couldn’t make out what band was supposed to be written on the front of the shirt. The pretty boy had blonde, nearly white hair and it seemed to be growing into a mullet. For some reason his drunk self thought it was a good idea to slam back another four shots of the suspicious liquor bottle standing next to him, before approaching the pretty boy. Just when he was about to reach pretty boy with the blonde hair, Jeongin stopped him and asked him if he had seen his boyfriend Hyunjin and Chan and Felix. The blonde told the other boy that the last time he had seen them was probably about half an hour ago in the living room. The older boy sighed and thanked him before continuing his search. 

Taehyun turned his head in the general direction of pretty boy and sighed in disappointment when he saw he was gone. Taehyun grabbed another beer from the fridge and made his way to the living room. He went to sit down on the empty spot next to the couple making out and sipped his beer. He was reaching the end of the bottle when he spotted the pretty boy again. He quickly finished the rest of his beer and mentally prepared himself to talk to pretty boy. After mentally patting himself three times on the back, he deemed himself ready, only to get disappointed again when he saw the boy was no longer in the same place as before. Luck decided to be on his side pretty soon after that though, since pretty boy was just leaving the bathroom when Taehyun went in. 

The boy in front of him gasped in surprise, not expecting someone in front of him when leaving the bathroom. The pretty boy started to blush after noticing the intense gaze Taehyun had. For some reason the boy in front of him seemed really familiar, but his alcohol addled brain could not figure out what it was. Deciding to get to know the pretty boy, since he’d been paying attention to him all night. “Hi, my name is Jack. What’s your name?” Taehyun didn’t know what came over him to use his English name, but something in him told him it was somehow safer to do so. The boy blushed some more, before plastering a confident (and attractive) smirk on his face, “The name’s Daniel.” His soft hand softly touched Taehyun’s arm. “What honour do I have that you’re talking to me?” Taehyun softly put a hand on Daniel’s waist and caressed some of the exposed skin with his thumb. “Well see, you’ve been catching my eye all night. You’re very pretty, you know?” Daniel plump lips slowly formed into a pout and slightly smirked when he saw Taehyun’s eyes flicker down before looking back up. The pout returned and stepped even closer to Taehyun, the younger now having to look up slightly. “Am I only pretty, Terry?” Taehyun felt himself get breathless and whispered, “You’re gorgeous.” 

The taller boy’s eyes flitted back and forth between Taehyun’s eyes and mouth before leaning in and kissing him. The smaller boy takes a few seconds to realise what happened but quickly kisses back. Daniel’s lips feel as soft as plump as they looked and Taehyun just did a small mental celebratory dance. Somehow they had moved back fully into the bathroom, the kiss deepening as they went. Taehyun let soft moans slip as Daniel trailed kisses down his neck. When they heard a knock on the door, followed by some vague and drunk screaming, they separated while panting. Daniel’s eyes shine mischievously and asks, “Wanna get out of here?” “Yours or mine?” Daniel laughed at Taehyun’s eagerness. “Yours, I didn’t clean my dorm because I didn’t expect to take someone into my bed tonight.” Taehyun quickly texted Huening Kai to tell him he was going home with someone. He wasn’t worried about his younger friend, knowing he’d either have Beomgyu pick him up or he’ll stay at a friend’s place.

The next morning Taehyun woke up to a frantic Beomgyu shaking him awake. Taehyun groaned at the headache pounding behind his eyes and grumbled when Beomgyu didn’t stop shaking him. He pushed off the older boy’s hands and glared at him. “What could possibly be so fucking important that you’re waking me up at” He turned to look at the clock on his nightstand, “fucking 9:30am? You know I only came home at 5 and the night wasn’t even over then.” Beomgyu wrinkled his nose in disgust at the implication but quickly shook it off. “Back to why I quote, unquote violently shook you awake.” Taehyun scoffed, “You’re a brute.” The older boy paid him no attention and just continued, “Care to tell me what in the living fuck Yeonjun is doing in our kitchen? Making fucking breakfast? Your favourite breakfast, might I add.” Now that did wake Taehyun up. “Yeonjun? My Yeonjun? What? How? Did he see you?” “He didn’t, I was about to enter the kitchen when I recognised him. I ran all the way back here to ask you what the fuck happened. Wait, I just realised you were surprised as hell when I said his name. Did you not know you brought Yeonjun home and slept with him? You guys also weren’t silent by the way. You’re lucky Hee was tired enough to sleep through that.” 

Beomgyu settled himself on the bed, while Taehyun was trying to make sense of everything. “The guy I took home was Daniel, not Yeonjun. Although he did look familiar, I just felt drawn to him. I guess if that is my Yeonjun, like you’re saying, it would make sense.” Beomgyu just hummed, seemingly deep in thought.

Taehyun could slowly feel the headache coming back and stood up from his bed to grab the bottle of water and painkillers from his bed. He had just swallowed the painkiller when he heard loud clattering in the kitchen. Worried something bad could’ve happened, Beomgyu and Taehyun hurried to the kitchen. When they arrived, they saw Daniel, no Yeonjun, pouting towards the floor where a bowl and some batter was splattered around. When the older boy heard the other two boys standing in the doorframe, he started blushing. “I’m sorry, I’ll clean up. I was just trying to make some pancakes with chocolate chips.” Taehyun gasped at the mention of the food. It was his and Yeonjun’s favourite breakfast to make when they stayed over at each other’s houses.

Taehyun just kept staring at the man in front of him, not believing it was really his Yeonjun. Since the blonde was wearing some basketball shorts, Taehyun’s basketball shorts the younger noticed, Taehyun could see some tattoos adorning the older’s back and ribs. He had also added more piercings to his ears and nose in the past three years. From where he was standing in the doorframe, Taehyun could count about four new piercings in Yeonjun’s ears. While Taehyun was busy looking Yeonjun up and down, a barely awake Heeseung stumbled into the kitchen. He stopped in his tracks when he saw the fourth male standing at the stove. “Am I still dreaming or is that a half naked Yeonjun standing at our stove.” He turned his body to Beomgyu, “Are those Taehyun’s pole dancing shorts?” Beomgyu snorted and quickly took Heeseung by his arm before going back to their room, leaving Taehyun and Yeonjun alone in the kitchen.

“Why are you here?” Taehyun cut to the chase. Yeonjun bit his lower lip and looked down at the floor. “Can we eat the remaining pancakes first? I’ll answer your questions afterwards and I’ll also clean up the mess too.” Taehyun sighed but nodded and slowly made his way to the kitchen table where two plates with pancakes were standing. They ate in silence, the younger boy trying to not let nostalgia consume him. He couldn’t help but fall back in the habit of pouring them both their glasses of water or adding two teaspoons of sugars and vanilla syrup to Yeonjun’s coffee. Throughout breakfast both boys were silent, the silence bordering on awkward. When they both finished eating and drinking, they quickly cleaned up the kitchen before making their way back to Taehyun’s bedroom.

Even though october was nearing, Taehyun opened up his window to let in some air since his room smelled like sex, sweat and alcohol. He went to sit on his bed and saw Yeonjun awkwardly hover around the door. “Just come sit next to me on the bed, Yeonjun.” The older boy hesitated before sitting next to Taehyun with his legs crossed. Taehyun stared at the boy next to him and the older seemed to shrink under his gaze. “Why are you here? Did you know it was me yesterday?” Yeonjun was fiddling with the stuffie he had taken from Taehyun’s bed and sighed before answering. “I did - I did recognise you yesterday. I thought you had recognised me too for some reason. Also you - you uhm - you moaned my name while, you know. That’s why I thought you know it was me.”

Taehyun felt his ears heat up at that confession,but tried to ignore it. “I just have one question.” Yeonjun turned his head to Taehyun and nodded softly, looking nervous. Taehyun let out a big sigh and gathered the courage to finally ask what had been bothering for almost three years now. “You just left, back then, didn’t even let me explain. I didn’t text you again, like you asked. But why? Why did you never contact me again? Because you obviously don’t have a girlfriend anymore, since we slept together.” Taehyun felt his tears spring to his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. “Why, hyung, why?” Taehyun knew he probably sounded desperate, but he didn’t care. He just wanted answers. When he looked at Yeonjun he saw how tense the other boy had gotten. The older boy took a few deep breaths to calm himself and tried to relax his body.

“So you remember how I was dating Jieun, right?” Taehyun scoffed at the mention of the other girl. “She was super possessive over me. Possibly homophobic too, I think.” Taehyun muttered, “Yeah no shit.” To which Yeonjun threw him a look before continuing his story. “I don’t know how it happened. She’d been driving my head crazy with assumptions and bad stuff about you. She also prohibited me from texting and facetiming you, because I always looked too happy and in love when talking to you.” Yeonjun’s cheeks flushed at the admittance and Taehyun felt his own ears and cheeks get warm too.

“One day during a heavy fight, I don’t even remember what it was about honestly, she screamed at me for being unfaithful with you. Mind you, I hadn’t heard you in about seven months at that point. She took my phone and smashed it to pieces and made me promise to never text you anymore.” Yeonjun took a deep breath before continuing, “I hadn’t texted you ever since our fallout tho and she knew that, because she’d go through my phone every day.” By the end of his sentence, the older man sounded choked up, as if trying not to cry. “She made me promise not to text you or even mention anymore. I thought I loved her, Tyun. I really did.” Taehyun could see the tears starting to drip down Yeonjun’s face. The younger didn’t even say anything about the fact that Yeonjun used his old nickname. “I thought I loved her and she loved me, so I never mentioned you again. I deleted your contact information and slowly broke contact with everyone from home.” 

Yeonjun wiped his tears with his hand and Taehyun turned around to take some tissues from his nightstand and gave them to Yeonjun. The older muttered a soft thanks and wiped away the rest of his tears and blew his nose. “By the time I fully realised this was just a toxic relationship that could never make me happy, we’d been together for a little less than two years. It took me a while to get back on my own feet and feel happy again, I’m still working on it too.” Yeonjun seemed to subconsciously stroke the tattoo on his inner arm (one Taehyun hadn’t noticed earlier when they were in the kitchen) and smiled softly. “I also once knew your number by heart, but I couldn’t remember it for the life of me no matter how hard I tried. But even if I had remembered it I probably wouldn’t have contacted you because I felt way too guilty about everything I’d done to you.” Yeonjun chuckled dryly before daring to look at Taehyun.

He slowly extended his hand towards the younger and spoke softly as to not break the moment, “I really hope we can start anew. I don’t expect you to forgive at this instant, but I do hope we don’t lose contact again because I love you way too much for that.” Taehyun seemed to hesitate before holding Yeonjun’s outstretched hand. He also felt the urge to intertwine their fingers so he did just that. “It’s gonna take me a while for me, and everyone, to trust you again but I’m willing to try. For myself, for us.”

**Author's Note:**

> im osrry if some parts seemed really rushed, but i felt like id gotten way off track at some points and needed to hurry it up lmao. i also lost motivation a few times but i rly did enjoy writing this. i tweeted the prompt on my priv feb 15 and started writing it the same day, so it took my while to finish writing it seeing as i posted this on mar 20. this was a rollercoaster from beginning til end to write.
> 
> this story went everywhere except where i planned it to go. at first i was planning to end it with a happy end, but this just seemed fitting to the whole story. (also moon encouraged me to end it this way lmao) i will be writing their reconnection in another part and ill also be writing beomheekai's getting together in a more detailed way.
> 
> ALSO I KNOW TAEHYUNS ENGLISH NAME IS TERRY BUT I DONT LIKE THE NAME TERRY BC I KEEP IMAGINING B99 TERRY


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